VANESSA LEMEN ART

SpeakEasy in Boston

2011-11-13T10:04:00.000-08:00

Tightrope Trouper at the Speakeasy
oil on board

ah where does the time go?.....
....been busy painting.....
This is a relatively recent painting that was showing last month in Boston at William Scott Gallery in the National Figures group exhibit, curated by Rick Berry and Damon Lehrer. I had two paintings in the show, this one was more recently finished, and the other painting I've posted previously on this blog here.
I actually went to the show, which was a whirlwind of an adventure, and a wonderful experience that is embedded into my being. My new work has taken on quite a noticeable evolution.. I'll post some of those paintings here soon too. I guess I have not been posting here much because, at first, I was somewhat in hibernation, and more importantly because lately, I have come out of hibernation and have been painting up a storm.... plus, I just really lag at posting here, apparently.

<< the list of artists in the show... so honored to be included in an exhibit that showcased such an incredible group of artists.

you can see photos from the opening reception on Rick Berry's blog (click here).

good times!

Cheers! after the reception, photo by Irene Gallo

some still life info for TAD

2011-08-16T13:48:00.000-07:00

the above image is a 2-value notan composition for the below still life. Using notan is a helpful means for working out a composition. the notan can be done on a small scale in pencil in a sketch book, as a thumbnail for a larger piece. It helps to layout the shapes of light and dark, and to see objects as they are surrounded in their environment - not just necessarily as objects separate from their surroundings

here is the finished painting

this is a 3-value notan for the below still life painting. this set-up is a bit more challenging in terms of determining what direction to push a value into to keep within the 3 values.

and this painting, though unfinished, shows how the form can be pulled from the graphic notan layout, while keeping true to the composition of the initial thumbnail.

some painting application refs for TAD

2011-08-13T10:08:00.000-07:00

I promised I'd post these up.
I've got some more I'll add here, but for now these are a few that I had shown the other day in class:

above: a few scribbles and swatches to demonstrate different ways to apply paint. Click the image to view the textures and notes larger and more clearly. I posted this file pretty large for that reason. so.. go! grab it and use it. :)

this was done with acrylic, layering on top of a bright thin stain of yellow and alizarin and some blue too, letting that dry, then adding thicker paint, then swiping it away with a shaper tool, then adding more paint, letting it dry again, and swiping away with a shaper tool and dripping the edges with very thin (with water) paint. the same can be done with oil (the drying time would be longer), or a combination of acrylic first then oil.

this painting was done in oil. it was done as a demo from life for a still life class at Studio 2nd Street. it was a 2-week set-up. The first week was spent doing a monochromatic drawing in paint first with a stain of burnt umber with some canvas showing through (the orange look for the thinned paint where turp was thrown at the canvas to pick out to canvas, leaving a lighter stain (more canvas showing through in lighter stained areas). Then the clown was painted with burnt umber for darks and white for lights. The lights are not only light, but cooler because of the addition of white. The 2nd week of the set-up was a stain of purple (ultramarine and alizarin), applied thin over the dry monochromatic painting. Then more colorful darker darks (still kept thin) were added to the clown, and opaque paint was added to the lights. Colorful lights (not just white, but white with blues, yellows, oranges added). The mid-tone shadow areas are part painted with thin coats and part left as what was underneath from the initial monochromatic stage of the painting, adding only clear glaze to some parts of those areas (such as the shadow on the collar).

Jono the Clown

2011-06-15T10:56:00.000-07:00

Jono the Clown, oil on board, 6x9"

Humanoid Harpy

2011-05-03T18:01:00.000-07:00

Study of a Humanoid Harpy and the Deconstruction of Her Wings

oil on canvas - 10"x20"

an s2s commercial spot

2010-10-10T16:12:00.000-07:00

check out this new video
showcasing Studio 2nd Street
and a glimpse at our work!

Sketch Theatre video

2010-10-10T15:58:00.000-07:00

check out this video!

click here for Ron & Vanessa Lemen on Sketch Theatre

...it turned out pretty cool!.. & was a lot of fun! :)

Visceral Dummy

2010-09-13T17:35:00.001-07:00

...started this painting at ComicCon a couple months ago, painting it in our booth, and recently decided I might work on it some more to show it at a one-night art event at Bar Basic in downtown San Diego. It's been a while since I've posted here, or it's been too few and far between, so I thought I'd try to start back up again with this one..... hopefully, this has kick-started a new round of posts on this blog. only time will tell I guess......
here's a pic of the painting in progress during ComicCon:(thanks to Claire Howlett of ImagineFX for the photo). :)

Artists by Artists

2009-12-13T12:47:00.001-08:00

...just about to head over to the reception for the Artists by Artists show, and realized wow! it's been a while since I've posted here. I posted this new painting in different places, but not here... hmmm... The AxA show features local artists - portraits of local artists by local artists... The Bob/Tree painting is my portrait of Bob Nanninga for this AxA show.
I'll add more to this post later but wanted to get this up here too...I have a ton of details of this painting - there are for sure over 50 faces in this painting, so I took some detail shots of it to see them up close in case you're not able to see it in person... so.. more here soon, but for now, I'm off to the show!

The reception is today, Dec. 13, 1-4pm.
at the Encinitas Library Community Room
540 Cornish Dr., Encinitas, CA 92024
the show is up til mid-January.
...

Comic-Con!

2009-07-21T21:51:00.000-07:00

I'll be at the Studio 2nd Street booth #5361.

we'll be doing demos at the booth
drawing, painting - traditional, digital..
plus a demo on Thursday 4:30-5:30pm
with Ron and others from s2s
upstairs in Rm. 30CDE

here's a painting I just finished
that will be there in the booth as well...

oil on canvas - 24x30"

Totem on Oak View Hill

2009-05-19T21:29:00.001-07:00

oil on board - 2.75" x 26"

detail:

Bob Nanninga

2009-02-25T00:23:00.000-08:00

In memory of a true visionary and good friend.

Bob passed away on Saturday February 14, 2009.
He was a huge inspiration to me and so many others.

He will truly be missed.

Portrait of Keith and Bob, August 2006
Bob and Keith posed sitting together on the stage at E Street Cafe, for a painting demonstration I did on a Sunday afternoon. With Bob on a stage, and people coming and going in the café, it was difficult to keep this man still – which was the case all of the time anyway, but particularly apparent when he needed to be sitting still in front of me. He would see friends and jump up to run over and hug them. When he felt his eyes getting heavy, he quickly got behind the bar to make us all a special concoction ala coffee-Bob-goodness. The man was non-stop – a ball of energy. And his energy was positively contagious and addicting.

Portrait of Bob, January 2007
This pose was set up to show Bob’s tattoos, because each one has its own story. The furrowed brow became my focus, though, and during each 20-minute increment of the pose, I would paint in a different area until the furrow came back to his forehead. At the beginning of the pose, he was relaxed. But as the minutes started ticking away, the tension in his brow would build. His wheels were constantly turning. When Bob sat during these hours, his gaze was fixed on a painting of a darker clown character on the wall across the room that I had done called The Muse. He asked who she was, and said he wanted to meet her. I told him she was in my head, and was part of a body of work I had created called the “Refugees from the Entrenched Attitude Society”. He insisted that he should be a member of this group. “Maybe I could be the Manic,” he said. And that’s how Bob the Manic came to be.

Bob the Manic, October 2007
This painting is a brilliant example of a combination of two souls captured completely in their element. If ever there were a true show of method acting, this was it. Bob was The Manic. He dressed and acted the part, having also painted his face with white and red makeup. His passion gave me freedom to be - just to be – and to paint while being. Which in essence, is my most favorite place to be most of all. We didn’t do much talking, but it was like we were having a very long, deep conversation in which we got to know each other very well… or at least, when it became understood that we were so very much the same.

Bob for City Council poster, October 2008
This poster was done very last minute. He proposed the idea to me, needing it yesterday. He came by the studio, and we snapped some photos with natural light. The graphics were pretty straightforward from there – made green to encapsulate his quest for environmental goodness. This one particular pose exuded “Vision” and Bob was a true visionary. He had wanted to be elected so that he could make a difference, and was tremendously disappointed by not getting elected. Maybe what he didn’t quite understand was that he was already making a difference.

pics from the Circus Art Event

2009-01-23T14:43:00.000-08:00

thanks to Veronica at Artistique Theatre for making this event happen... was a great turn-out and a lot fun!

visit the Artistique Theatre blog - click here - to see more pics from the Circus show...

Drips the Clown

2009-01-19T23:51:00.000-08:00

Drips the Clown
approx. 82"x32" - acrylic on vinyl banner
(for the 101 Artists Colony banners this year)
I think clowns become sad because most people fear them blindly, and without any kind of understanding of what lies underneath the surface.

this painting really went through a lot of changes
from when it was started to its current state.

...listened to Clogs a lot when I painted this.
click this link to listen (2 songs,
Kapsburger and 5/4 from Lantern)

.....

harmony

2008-09-10T23:00:00.000-07:00

this is the painting I did for the "Change" show last month at the studio...

Nancy in a Top Hat

2008-06-30T23:35:00.000-07:00

Nancy in a Top Hat oil on canvas 24"x36"

Nancy is a pretty cool character. She wears many hats. In this painting, she happens to be wearing Keith’s top hat. I’ve painted her once before. That time, as a madam. She was wearing a hat then too.

Towards the end of the session with her as the model, she said she thought it would be a good idea to make her into a clown. I thought it was a good idea too (' you kiddin?!), so I added that in the last sitting. That was a hoot. :) Here are some details...

painting demo notes, info, ramblings

2008-05-24T17:16:00.000-07:00

Here is a recap of the demo for the San Dieguito Art Guild. There is a set of images in progression and sequential notes to explain a bit about each image. There are a couple detail images further below to refer to as well. Mainly, these are some thoughts, observations, and explanations on the demo and my approach.

The approach I took to do this demo was a bit different from how I might typically go about tackling a painting from start to finish. Mainly because it was 3-hour demonstration, and in a demo there are other elements (like talking and explaining when you're painting) that aren't in a typical painting routine. Anyway, for this painting, I chose to work on masonite, which I prepared ahead of time - gessoed about 5 times, sanding between each layer to keep it smooth. Then I stained the surface with a mixture of burnt umber and white (similar to a turkey umber color). This color can be used as the midtones and can transition from cool to warm easily. The surface was dry when I started the portrait. I enjoy painting on masonite for its smooth texture, and also because the first layers of paint dry relatively quickly on this surface, allowing me to build the thicker more opaque strokes on top of the lay-in within the limited amount of time. The palette I used was mainly an earth tone palette, with some more vibrant or radiant colors. The palette surface is glass, with a toned surface underneath to match the value of the surface I’m painting on. I can talk more about colors on my palette in a different post, but mainly when I’m doing a demo (and, really, all the time), I want to have everything at my fingertips ready to go (like the keys on a piano), so that I don’t have to dig for anything while I’m working – so that I’m comfortable, and not distracted by the small things I can control. In addition to setting out my colors from the tube, I then use my palette knife to mix piles of colors according to the set-up, creating an extended ‘keyboard’ to work with. My solvent is Gamsol (mineral spirits), which I use mainly to wash out my brushes, but can be used to thin the paint as it is applied to the surface. My medium in this case was Liquin, which is a relatively fast-drying medium. In the beginning stages of the painting, I use bristles, and then use a combination of bristles and sables as I build the paint on the surface. I find bristles work best for laying on the paint and moving it around. Sables work well for softening edges, applying softer strokes, and for ‘flattening’ areas of thick paint or blending/softening striations in the strokes. These are just a few reasons I like the two types of brushes, but there are so many ways to use them and I don’t necessarily stick to just one particular effect of a brush to get a specific result. This painting was mainly tiled (think of the word ‘tile’ as in tiles on a floor, but not quite as literal. Blocks of color are laid next to each other, but don’t have to be square or the same shape or laid down in the same direction as the one next to it). I started with big tiles of darks and midtones applied thinly, and then built small tiles on top of the big tiles, which are thicker and more opaque (stacking them, in a way, from thin to thick). This approach is a direct painting approach that mimics some of my tendencies to paint when I paint an indirect painting. It doesn't include the indirect glazing of layers that I often do in longer paintings. Still, this direct painting approach does use layering, given the surface and materials, and how I can make them work for me. My temperament is to paint in layers, building from thin to thick. This direct approach utilizes some of the same types of effects as indirect painting does, as long as there is an understanding of what the tools can do and how to use them to get the desired results.

(don't forget, you can click on the images to view them larger)

Here are some notes on the progression above (#1 coincides with the first image in the sequence, and so on):
1) At this stage, I have blocked in the large shapes of color. I didn’t start with a drawing per se, except to give myself outer anchor points of the silhouette, so I can be sure of the composition, and that it has an aesthetically pleasing placement on the page. These place markers keep me in check, so the silhouette doesn’t “grow” as I paint. The blocks of color are placed inside these place markers as I see them as blocks of color on the model. I do not want to go straight into detail and then paint around the details. I will build up the masses and volume, adding smaller shapes of color into the larger shapes of color, and so on.. adding the detail last. The paint, at this stage is relatively thin.
2) The smaller shapes are added into the larger shapes, refining edges as I go. The point of interest, for me, will be his left eye (the one on the right in the painting, the eye closest to the viewer) and the furrowed brow – mainly the light side of the face, but I’m especially drawn to the eye and brow. The areas in the lights are applied darker than the lightest lights – more as the midtones in the lights. This is so I can build my lights on top of the midtones. You can see examples of this in the detail photos of the painting. I’ve added some more thorough explanation about that below with the details.
3) Again, I’m adding the smaller shapes inside the larger shapes. At this stage, I’m also adding the texture and character of the model’s skin as small, loose brush strokes. Each stroke remains a stroke (or tile), but the value relationships need to stay relative to the overall value that I’ve laid in at the beginning. The colors change, the texture and direction of the strokes vary as they define directions of planes and light on the skin, and the spontaneity of the strokes can stay loose as well. They’re simply on a smaller scale, and each stroke varies in color and value slightly from the next, giving the illusion of blended tones from a distance. When applying paint to smaller areas, it isn’t necessary to get uptight in application, as in rendering or blending. Especially in this case, blending would lose the character or integrity of the model. The strokes can be applied just as loose as the larger strokes – they’re just smaller.
4) In the 3rd photo and in this one, there is one thing that mainly really stood out to me. I lost the likeness by stretching out the lower half of the face. In hindsight, I think I can say that it got lost because I was focusing on a small area of the painting that I considered the focus, and was not looking at the whole picture enough. Also, the overall value of that area was off as well. It’s important to stand back and take a look at your painting frequently, which I know I didn’t do enough between sittings because I was talking with people and answering questions one-on-one during that time. I spoke about this in the demo, and it turned out to be a good lesson. Anyway, because of time constraints, this is where the demo had to end.
5) I took it home and worked on it for about another hour. Mainly, I moved the tip of the nose up, the jawline up, and refined the brushwork again after I adjusted the shapes. Moving things doesn’t mean ‘erasing’ or wiping out. It means observing (spending the most time doing this), and placing the blocks of color in the right place, then moving everything else accordingly. If the painting is thicker, it might require sanding, but this painting was relatively thin in the areas that needed adjusting. It was important to me to keep the spontaneous feel to the brushwork. My fixes were made, with this in mind as well. I had some photos from the demo, but none from the exact angle from where I was sitting, so I wanted to work on it while the image of the model was still fresh in my mind.

As I mentioned above, I started the painting with thin layers of darks and midtones. To achieve the effect of the furrowed brow, or the wrinkles of the brow, I leave the midtones as they are, and paint the short direction of the planes of light. I’m not painting the darker ‘lines’ or wrinkles on top of the light. The ‘lines’ are the midtones I have already painted underneath, so I’m not painting them, they’re already there. What’s happening on the surface of the skin is what I want to mimic in paint. On the skin, wrinkles or furrows are the areas where the planes are meeting up. They are small areas of darks between the lights, and are receding from the light. As in the surface of the skin, the paint is applied similarly. The light areas are closer to us, the darks are farther from us - literally. Again, it’s important to keep your darks and midtones thin, and use a light touch when applying the lighter tones in opaque paint on top.

(click on the image to view the brushwork closer)

A note on brushwork. If you noticed in the top photo, how I am holding my brush, please keep in mind that this photo is just one photo of a split second in time. I am constantly moving my hand and arm in different ways, using different sensitivities of pressure, and turning the brush in my hand in different directions to get different results depending on which way I feel the brushstroke should appear.

One last note. The model is Van. I want to make a note of this because I really enjoy painting him. Aside from an incredible amount of character, Van has a wonderfully strong positive energy and really enjoys his work. He furrowed his brow for 3 hours! For a demo (if I have a choice), painting a model that I have a good connection with, helps me to focus on the painting and talking, and allows me to be comfortable overall.

Also, thanks to Brian for taking photos during the demo, and thanks to everyone who went and asked such great questions!

Portrait Painting Demo Thursday May 1st

2008-04-30T17:56:00.000-07:00

here's the info:
Portrait Painting Demonstration by Vanessa Lemen

Thursday, May 1, 2008
1:30 - 3:30pm
Ecke Building at Quail Botanical Gardens
230 Quail Gardens Drive Encinitas, CA

The SDAG May demonstrator is fine artist Vanessa Lemen of Studio 2nd Street in downtown Encinitas. Vanessa will be painting a portrait from life at the general meeting of the San Dieguito Art Guild, held at the Ecke Building at Quail Botanical Gardens. All general meetings of the SDAG are FREE and open to the public. Bring a friend. Refreshments will be served.

SDAG demonstrations are funded in part by the Arts Commission of the city of Encinitas.

submerged

2008-03-10T23:29:00.001-07:00

Submerged – oil on canvas – 8x10”

The low sometimes feels like this.
Not disconnected, but connected to the wrong things.
And any sort of placebo is just a double-edged sword.
It seems the only things true and sound
Are completely out of focus.
So I yearn for focus.

Painting this, though frustrating, brought the focus back.
There are things I hate about this painting.
But what I love about it is that it came from all of that.
And at the same time, brought me out of it.

harlequin

2008-01-25T16:14:00.000-08:00

Harlequin

approx 32 x 82" - acrylic on vinyl banner
(for the 101 Artists Colony banners this year)
Harlequin is a peaceful and easy-going clown who is genuine and hopeful enough to brave the outside world regardless of the dogmatic fears of clowns that have been placed in the minds of so many by the Entrenched Attitude Society.

singing clowns

2007-12-17T12:18:00.000-08:00

...some more paintings from the
Refugees from the Entrenched Attitude Society show...

..all of these paintings below are very small, from 2 x 2" to 4 x 4" (without the frames)..the frames are from the very awesome Jim at First Street Gallery on Hwy 101 in Encinitas.

9 singing clowns
All kinds of voices, all types of clowns, can be heard singing in beautiful harmony with reckless abandon. Their power is in numbers. This is only a few, but there are many and the numbers are growing. The Entrenched Attitude Society has placed a fear of them into the minds of many, but they are completely harmless and have only good intentions.

Bob the Manic

2007-12-09T22:59:00.001-08:00

...another painting from the
Refugees from the Entrenched Attitude Society show...

24x36", oil on canvas

Bob the Manic - He’s called Bob the Manic around town. He’s a people person, but is cast out by the Society because he talks to himself out loud. If you get him started, he will go off.
And he’s always spot on

before and after

2007-11-28T22:52:00.000-08:00

…and to think…

…seems like only yesterday when I was questioned by the FBI for taking pictures of Camp Pendleton out my car window…

Camp Pendleton from the car window on Hwy 5
January 2005

Camp Pendleton from the car window on Hwy 5
November 2007

Happy Thanksgiving

2007-11-21T17:59:00.001-08:00

another painting from my
Refugees from the Entrenched Attitude Society show...

30 x 40", oil on canvas

Cornucopia Head
She is incredibly inspired by sound and music, and can sing like it’s flowing through her. Nothing can hold this back.
If you listen, you can see it happening.

(listen to Loop!Station to get the music she is inspired by)

Another Self

2007-11-09T01:07:00.001-08:00

this painting can be seen among the 30 works at my solo show at Art Slave gallery, Refugees from the Entrenched Attitude Society...
opening reception Saturday, November 10th, 7pm - midnight

16 x 20", oil on board

Self Portrait with Dream-to-Voice-Box Device
I have developed this device over time, but sometimes it malfunctions. There are so-called glitches. But sometimes those lead to something unexpected and exciting, so I haven’t bothered to mess with it.

Fires in San Diego

2007-10-24T13:03:00.000-07:00

across the street from home:
driving in Encinitas:
afternoon at the end of D Street, downtown Encinitas:sunset, Moonlight Beach, Encinitas:
ashes in the air, Moonlight Beach, Encinitas:

Void

2007-09-27T17:12:00.000-07:00

I’ve been working on a lot of new paintings over the past few months for a solo show coming up, and as I’d been working on them, I found myself having a harder time making comments about my older work in hindsight as I have been in my other posts.

And so this begins a new chapter in “A Finished Work in Progress”.

Void
Without it, we cannot truly appreciate or grasp the other…and vice versa. Within it, we can go anywhere, do anything, be anything...
...that's my take, at least.

30"x40" oil on canvas

some details below...

Self Portrait Underneath

2007-06-28T16:54:00.000-07:00

Oil on canvas, 16x20, Spring 2006

This is a self portrait underneath. What I mean to say is…when I started this painting, it was a self portrait. As it progressed, I disliked it more and more. So I ended up scraping it with my palette knife and thought while I was at it, I’d create a cool texture to work on top of for another painting. When I scraped it, I saw different shapes on the canvas that I thought would be fun to paint into. There was a head shape, and a strange stitch in the middle of the forehead. I could vaguely see eyes, a nose, and a mouth, but the features that I could make out were more fantastical in their placement on the head. And there was this neat light on the back of the neck and ears (initially what I was attracted to in painting the self portrait was the lighting behind my ears), and this funky collar shape. So here is the finish. This is what I ended up with. Some people have said it looks like a renaissance alien. Cool. And for some reason, everyone needs to tell me that it doesn’t look anything like me.

I found this definition of the word ‘alien’…
Alien - anyone who does not belong in the environment in which they are found.

As far as what’s underneath the surface of my skin, that definition seems more fitting for the initial painting of what my self portrait was turning out to be. I actually feel like this ‘renaissance alien’ is far closer to who I am than the painting I had scraped that was what most would call a ‘realistic’ rendition of me. Now I wish I had snapped a photo of it before I scraped it so that I could show the before and after, but at the time, that was the furthest from my mind.

The Martyr

2007-05-31T23:20:00.000-07:00

The Martyr, Oil on Canvas, 12x36, Fall 2006
I feel like this is a safe painting overall. It's more of a generalization, and that's what I mean by it being safe. Painting it has helped me see that I have become too careful when painting subjects that may be touchy to some. In fact, most of my paintings are examples of this. I look forward to becoming a bit more expressive in the future in terms of speaking about certain things or voicing my own opinion in my work. Funny really, but I mention becoming more expressive in the future, when in the past I was far more expressive than I am currently. Most of my recent paintings have been an experiment in injecting the voice back into my work. It almost seems surreal to me that I have misplaced that element when it’s the most important to me. It used to be so huge with me, but over time, the voice grew softer and softer. Or perhaps my way of saying things just became a lot more subtle. This painting touches on that a bit, but like I said, it still feels too safe to me. It did help me get something out though, and move on from being dragged down by the feelings that martyr-types can ensue. Maybe that’s why this vision came to me - because my soul was telling me to purge and move on. I feel like the end result is a cross between the subject(s) I was intending to paint and me. Subtle as it may be, it captures the subjects' actions as well as my own actions in response to them.

When I first got the thought to paint this, I didn’t know exactly what the image meant to me. The idea evolved as I painted it, and general shapes and thoughts began to form into more detailed shapes and thoughts. I’m satisfied with the overall outcome of this painting. It taught me a great deal about myself, and how others have an affect on me. And it also showed me what I am capable of and what I still need to work on, both in terms of skill and of voice. But like The Muse (below), this painting came from within, and I try not to judge myself too much when that occurs. The Muse and The Martyr are paintings about my own dealings with what I'm going through in injecting my voice in my work. Aspects of things I do like and things I don't like about myself, I think. Well, that's what everything we do is really, but what I mean to say is that these were not planned (as the Self Portrait with Mask was). These are more the act of speaking spontaneously. They were painted in the Fall of 2006. It feels a bit strange to write about them now because I have changed quite a bit even from then. But as critical as I may sound in this post, this painting and the Muse are two of my own personal favorites.

The Muse

2007-04-28T16:37:00.000-07:00

The Muse, Oil on Canvas, 12x36, Fall 2006

This was a vision I had while waking up one morning. I didn’t know where it came from necessarily, but instead of sitting around and wondering, I just started painting and kept going… and this is what came out… hence, the title.

I actually did part of it as a demo for a class I was teaching. While talking about adding a thick more opaque layer over the thin layers underneath, I added the red nose and white face paint for the demo. Since this painting wasn’t using anything as a reference (ie. photo or model), the class was surprised with my additions. I distinctly remember a collective *gasp* when I did it.

If I stop to think about this particular painting, I can see pieces of other paintings I’ve done previously compiled into this one. This is something I noticed in hindsight…

hmmm.. let’s take a look…

I’m definitely seeing some similarities and influence here…

Here’s some info I found about the word ‘muse’ that seemed appropriate to this painting and to my experience painting it…
- Muse: the term refers to a source of inspiration, accessible by artists and generally restricted to artists (artists in a broad sense). The muse is not in itself a delusion, or hallucination, but rather a myth to which writers, musicians, painters and more are able to credit the conception of their art to - those times when the artist has not been actively designing a piece, but spontaneously has an idea for one.
- Muse in modern day terms refers to a guiding spirit or a source of inspiration.
- To be absorbed in one's thoughts; engage in meditation
- The condition of being so lost in solitary thought as to be unaware of one's surroundings
- To think or think about carefully and at length
- To experience dreams or daydreams
- To reflect deeply on a subject

The Muse came spontaneously, but that spontaneity comes from a combination of several aspects of myself – from life, art, other paintings I’ve done, other paintings I’ve seen, dreams, etc - all put into this one painting ...and hopefully others I do as well.

Paintings Inspired by a Feeling

2007-04-27T12:48:00.000-07:00

Tree Woman, Oil on Canvas, 48x48, Summer 2005
The Harmony of Twilight and Nostalgia, mixed media, 10x13, Summer 2005

These paintings come more from a feeling, and less from a technical sense. Regarding the technical issue, though, I want to note that these two pieces were experiments with the medium(s), and were conglomerations of feeling and technical from the standpoint of having acquired what skill sets I have over the years, and then just letting go and painting what I felt. Also, I am very inspired by trees in general.

What I do want to say about the word feeling – for me, a feeling is not a word or a description of what a feeling is, it is the feeling – something that is not an easy thing to wrap a definition around, nor does it need to. If I throw a definition out there, then we all get a canned description, or a group of words that tells us how we’re supposed to feel – a tangible aspect to an otherwise intangible thing.

Tree Woman

When I painted this, I was very excited to start it. I had been told a story that inspired me to paint this. It comes from the visual that I got when the story was being told to me. It’s not the same as the visual that was in my head, but I’m satisfied with the result. This was the first painting that I tried the medium Galkyd. I like it a lot and have used it frequently since. This was an experiment with it, and I suppose being an experiment, it allowed me to free up and just paint whatever comes out. Sometimes what happens with me is that I let myself be swayed by outside sources, and have to have some sort of validation for being ‘free’. Also, in part, because I think people are jaded by the word ‘free’ when it comes to painting – and occasionally I have let myself be persuaded by other people. For me, I think it’s when free and technical cross over that things get cloudy in terms of art – and well, probably equally in life as well. I mentioned finding the balance in my first post regarding my self portrait. I’m seeing a pattern here.

The Harmony of Twilight and Nostalgia

This painting is a mixed media piece. It’s traditional and digital. The traditional aspects are painted textures in acrylic and oil. The woman is painted digitally, and the tree is a photograph that is painted into and added to digitally. The stars are from a photograph of a really cool wrought iron umbrella at the San Diego harbor. The tree is a beautiful huge tree that stands in a large open grassy area in front of the Mission San Luis Rey, and it is quite a tree. The digital parts are painted and cloned, and burned and multiplied, and well, very experimental in terms of procedure. That’s the way I work digitally, for the most part because it allows for a different kind of freedom.

In terms of my own work, these two pieces are two of my own personal favorites currently. It’s about the feeling I had that inspired me to paint them, the feeling I had when I painted them, and the feeling I get when I look at them. And that part I can’t quite wrap a definition around.

Portrait in Memory of Scott Helvenston

2007-04-25T12:49:00.000-07:00

Portrait of Scott Helvenston, Oil on Canvas, 12x16, Summer 2005
Scott Helvenston was one of the four contractors who were ambushed and killed in Fallujah, Iraq, March 31 2004. (click here to learn more).

With any portrait, it’s important to have a focus before you begin. I felt it was important to make sure that this would be a portrait that could instill happy memories, and could transcend the memories ensued by March 31, 2004.

This was a commissioned portrait. I was given several different photos for reference, from which I pieced together the best captured expression, lighting, angle, etc. There are so many variables just in terms of getting a likeness in the physical sense, and then there are so many other aspects to take into consideration as well. I feel this changes with every portrait I do. This could really go in several directions, but in the case of this particular portrait, there were a couple main issues that came up while painting this that I thought I'd touch on because they are issues that come up occasionally with other things at different times as well.

Visuals from outside sources that were getting in the way.
These particular visuals, however, were very motivating in a sense, but I had to get past it all in my own head in order to paint this portrait in the way that it needed to be painted. I do want to point out that I intend not to write any definition of my visuals, or describe them in words, in order to keep with the focus I noted above. I remember seeing the pictures of the incident in Fallujah on the internet. When I discovered that this man that I was painting was one of the four men involved, and the stories unfolded as I read more and more about him, I had to remind myself to stay focused. Also, considering I was painting this for someone in his family, it was very important to me that he was depicted in a positive light, with a lasting memory of happiness.

I didn’t know the person I was painting. And this will not be an uncommon aspect in my career as an artist. This is one of those times in general when it becomes most apparent that as artists, we put ourselves into our work. To paint something deeper than a likeness without knowing the person can be a bit tricky. So if we are injecting a feeling, then it inevitably has to be our own. This is also an example of the incredible connection of the nature of things and the contagiousness of energy. When we paint what is indefinitely our own feeling, and especially when we feel very strongly, it will always hit a universal chord. That’s not to say that everyone will feel the same about the painting, but there will be something being said that will touch a place deeper than the surface. And I think it would make sense to hope for different interpretations too. What made this one tough were the feelings that I had that were caused by the things I saw. Ultimately, it's up to me to influence the energy in the right direction.
My client was a close friend to Scott’s family. She gave me photos to work from, and could give me feedback as to whether she thought it looked like him and I could get a sense by her comments and reactions whether it felt like him or not. In this portrait, there is nothing being said about the visuals that were committed to memory from the incident in Fallujah. This could make for a very powerful message, but would entail painting an entirely different type of portrait. It was important to me that I did not have any of that energy in this painting. This commission was to be straightforward in the physical nature of the painting. As far as feeling, it is straightforward as well. He has a commanding presence - strong, confident, and happy - and heroic, as he had lived his life. I felt that this was how he and his family and friends would want him to be remembered.

Faith in Shadows

2007-03-03T16:14:00.000-08:00

Faith in Shadows, Oil on Canvas, 36x48, Summer 2006
The title is a play on words a bit. The subject’s name is Faith. The fact that her name is Faith means a lot to me, and probably at this point in her life, she may be still growing in to her name and what it means to her or to others. Her name truly defines her to me. On this particular day, she showed up to class wearing an afro wig. It was a day where my class would be painting self-portraits from life. She explained that she wears it to school once in a while just because. In essence, this is how she approaches most things. I admire that and hope she never loses that. The lighting set-up for the class that day was casting a really big shadow behind her, where she herself was somewhat engulfed in darkness, but her persona was casting far beyond her own reach. She has a strength about her so much so that, though she may choose to remain in the shadows as an onlooker, a light exudes from her effortlessly.

Faith is to believe what you do not see; the reward of this faith is to see what you believe.--St. Augustine

Solo Jester

2007-03-03T16:05:00.000-08:00

Solo Jester, Oil on Canvas, 36x48, Summer 2006
This portrait is of a student named Evan when he was 11 or 12. On the first day I met him, he was entering my class and did not know anyone. Most of the other students had known each other from previous classes or at school. He was new to the group. He was witty and shy. There was a costume rack in the corner of the classroom from which he picked up a jester hat and put it on his head. He caped himself in a red gown and sat, tilting his head down, provoking a solemn look on his face. He is now about 4 years older and still taking classes from me, also having now entered public school instead of being home schooled. He is the same witty character, but is nowhere near as shy. His take on the world is different from most…or perhaps uncomfortably similar to others’, and he wears It on his sleeve. He expresses his outlook openly and frankly, and his wit has the same frankness. It’s something that gets lost as life goes on, when we get told that there are ways to be and not to be. Perhaps no one wants to truly admit that they can relate to a sad solo jester, because then we would be admitting that we are stifling ourselves and have succumbed to being something we were told we should be instead of someone we had aspired to be all on our own. And at 11, this kid already seemed to know the game.

Portrait of Ron Lemen

2007-02-15T12:32:00.000-08:00

Portrait of Ron Lemen, Oil on Canvas, 16x20, Fall 2006
Ron and I have known each other since we were kids. We have painted each other’s portrait a ton of times, but to describe the past 25 years of knowing him would take far too long here in this blog. Regarding this particular portrait, maybe it should be noted that in the many years that we’ve known each other, I have rarely, if ever, seen him look scared or unsure. (The one other time that comes to mind is when he asked me to his senior prom in high school, but that look was less intense than the look in this portrait and he didn’t have any sideburns or facial hair then). At this particular moment in our lives, there were some major changes happening in our surroundings that brought about a different set of feelings than we were used to in our 5 years of marriage. In hindsight, it’s easier to say that it was during this time that we were beginning to better understand that even though we had known each other for that amount of time, there were still things about each other that we did not know yet. This was a turning point in terms of understanding and compassion for our differences as individuals, and how that understanding helped us grow as a married couple and support each other as we continue to grow as individuals at the same time. This portrait of Ron and the self portrait (see the Self Portrait post below) represent a wonderful and empowering self-discovery and evolution that we were both encountering. I have heard so many different types of descriptions of the emotions we wear on our faces in these portraits – contemplative, sad, worried, scared, nervous, thoughtful, insecure, unsure – and it makes me happy to know that the subtle storytelling in these portraits is evident, even if the comments are meant as criticism. I have also over the past few years, began to understand that negative reactions are just as important as positive reactions, and in this case, the viewer who says “it doesn’t look like you (or him)” might mean that they don’t usually see us in this light, but rather in a more positive light, and these portraits seem off to them. This kind of reaction is exactly the reaction that would make sense, and the impact that it made is the more important issue to pay attention to. I since have new ideas for portraits of us that would show us in a much different light, and I am gaining more confidence to speak with even less subtlety than I have been in previous work. Without the challenging moments and without speaking of them through my paintings, I would not be able to truly recognize the importance of that. These two portraits currently hang side by side in the back room of our new business, Studio 2nd Street. This studio is our baby, spawned from a lifetime of our experiences. The main room in front is filled wall to wall with incredible work that our students have produced and that we are so honored and proud to showcase. (when you click on the image below, scroll left to right too...and just fyi, you can click on all of the images on this blog to see them larger)... At the opening of our studio a year ago, there was a man who was very insistent on buying the portrait of Ron. As flattering as this was, I let him know that this portrait is not for sale. (It was a gift to Ron, and anyway, I don't think I have to explain why it's not for sale really).
...and this is how he reacted...
“You don’t want to sell your work?!”
There are many things I could say back to this comment. At that time I think I told him “you’ll have to fight my husband for it.”

Self Portrait, A Finished Work In Progress

2007-01-07T19:45:00.000-08:00

Self Portrait with Mask, Oil on Canvas, 24x36
started Summer 2005 - 'finished' January 2007

This is a self portrait that I did about a year and a half ago. I started it, left it for a while, worked on it again, left it for a long while swearing I would never return to it, started a blog, wrote about how I would never return to it, and have since worked on it. After reading my terrible excuses for not finishing it and several attempts at revising what I wrote to try to give the illusion that they weren’t excuses, I decided to try to fix what was haunting me instead of leaving it. Hindsight, and patience, have a funny way of helping. Here is an elongated brief description of my thoughts, ideas, frustrations, during the process:

First, the pretense:
When I started this painting, a few things in my immediate surroundings were really dragging me down. At that point, I had lost the confidence I used to have. I felt I had become an empty shell. This was reflecting in my work, but I didn’t know what was missing in it at the time. I needed to find my voice again. I spent time to think things through. This painting is an attempt to give voice to how I was feeling at that time.

The process:
I use a thick over thin process, with transparent layers in the darks using the medium Galkyd or Liquin, building the lights with thicker more opaque paint and less or no medium, but with clear layers of medium in between at times. The lay-in is essentially a drawing in paint using no medium (yet), scrubbing the drawing into the surface to roll the form, so that the values are worked out and ready to build up on. When applying each layer after the lay-in, the way in which the paint is applied should allow for the drawing to come through. Because of letting the paint show through in the layers, colors mix in a different way than in direct painting. What’s underneath influences the color that goes over it. Also, it’s important to have a dark palette underneath the paint so that what is being mixed on the palette appears the same as when it is on the painting.
In working on this painting, the beginning to middle went pretty smoothly as far as progression. There were issues with the initial lay-in in terms of likeness, but I felt confident I could tweak them as I built it up. The issues were small, and the thick over thin process allows for small maneuvers like pushing an edge slightly over when applying the next layer. But in all processes, changing your mind about the placement of a large part of the painting will require more work. I created more work for myself by changing the hand 3 times. This takes more than fudging an edge. It takes sanding and rebuilding. Because I use transparent layers for the darks and thicker opaque paint for the lights, if I move something, I need to build the paint back up again, not just paint building it thicker and thicker in areas that weren’t meant to be thick. This goes to show how taking the time in the initial drawing and really be certain of the concept, and how the concept is illustrated is very important. As I worked on it, new ideas came to me that I was more pleased with eventually, so I ended up sanding and rebuilding in that area.
- The first attempt showed both hands intertwined as if nervous (subtle storytelling, but too subtle, and not clear in the way that it was depicted, fingers looked jumbled, or as if it were one large hand with too many fingers)
- The second attempt had a very nicely rendered (but very contrived) hand holding brushes (contrived because it was basically a portrait of me standing there holding a bunch of brushes. It had lost the focus).
- This last attempt is what I consider most telling of me at that time as far as subjectmatter. My hand holds a mask as if the viewer has interrupted me as I have pulled the mask away from my face.

Then, I left it unfinished for about a year. I don’t have a good reason for that (besides being really busy, teaching, painting other paintings, yada yada yada, but those aren't in my definition of a good reason). For a long time, I wouldn’t show this painting because I didn’t feel that it represented me in the best way possible because the hand was not rendered to completion. In hindsight, I can see this as a double-edged excuse for not finishing it. I thought about cutting the canvas to trim the bottom portion completely off, and showed it on my website like this for most of the year: Since I started to write this blog, I have worked on the hand and mask again, and also a bit in the head too, giving more texture to the lights, and softening some of the sharp edges and contrast between the forehead and hair.

Regarding the storytelling:
- Changing the activity of the hands helped tell the story I wanted to tell about that moment, and it speaks from where I was speaking from at that moment.
Regarding the focus:
- As far as storytelling goes, the face should read as the focal point, and the secondary focal point the mask being held by the hand. The secondary focal point should support the primary focal point, and not compete with it.
- The two previous attempts at the hands were too sharp and in focus to be secondary, and too light in value. So the two areas were competing.
- The face has a story on its own, as everyone’s face does (unless you delete or airbrush out every detail that tells their story). The expression and the mouth in shadow show that, even though I had come to a point where I was somewhat ready to unveil my true self (by removing the mask from my face), I was still uncertain of my own voice (the shadow over my mouth).

Regarding the word ‘finish’:
- Don’t fall into the thinking that finishing something means it has to be rendered to the nth degree. …(this is a reminder to myself)…
- It can be called finished when the story is told.
- Find the balance.

Writing all of this has made me decide to finish it.